I recently posted this photo meme on social media with the caption– “YOU ATTRACT WHAT YOU’RE BEING!”
— to which someone commented, “Understanding HOW to do that and keep surviving is the issue for me…I desperately want to get out of my head, but I am always in survival mode.”
While it is impossible to share all of my experiences that have lead me to understand what this statement means and how to incorporate it into my life, I realize that without all of the step-by-steps, such a statement is much easier said than done.
I get it. I have been in there, and it wasn’t that long ago.
To tell you the truth, that very statement “You attract who you’re being” used to tick me off so much! My coach said it to me repeatedly, and it made no sense!!! “IF I KNEW HOW TO BE IT, I WOULD BE IT!!” Sound familiar? Let me tell you the simple version of what I did to connect the dots until this idea didn’t only make sense, it became my life!
- Pay attention to your feelings and your thoughts. In that order. Thoughts precede feelings, and since so many of us run on auto pilot trying to keep up with life’s to-do lists, our thoughts are often on auto pilot as well. To notice your thoughts, you must first notice your feelings. Stop what your are doing and intentionally ask yourself “What am I feeling right now?” and then listening to your body to tell you how it feels. Many people laugh at me when I tell them this first step because they think they know how they feel. Try it anyway. Chances are that if you are frustrated with your life, living in survival mode, you are likely quite numb to your feelings. Pay attention. Your body will tell you. Then, once you have identified how you feel, ask yourself “What am I thinking?” and once you are aware of the thoughts happening underneath the to-do list, ask “Why?” Set an alarm on your phone and do this several times a day for at least 30 days (I still do it after 4 years) and journal what you find. You will find you are much more aware of how your thoughts really do affect your emotions, which makes it easier to switch your thoughts to something much better aligned with how you want to feel.
- Move your body. Get your heart rate up for 30 consecutive minutes 3-5 times a week. I think we all have at least heard about the power of endorphins. I know that when I’m in survival mode, endorphin talk doesn’t motivate me much past telling all the exercise junkies what they can do with their endorphins… (am I the only one who has felt that way?) So first, again, I’ll say–I get it! And then I’ll say, find a reason to do it anyway. If you truly want to live your life, you must start by feeling alive. Much more that creating feel good chemicals, exercise lets you know that you are alive. If you are feeling resistance because you know you should exercise but you really don’t enjoy it, I challenge you to try something new–and keep trying until you find something you love to do. Personally, I didn’t believe it was possible for me to really enjoy any kind of body movement. I argued “BUT I’m NOT an athlete,” until finally, I decided to prove to my coach that I could never love any kind of exercise… can you guess where I’m going with this??? Trust me. Move your body.
- Do something that scares you–every day. I used to think I wasn’t afraid of anything. Wow! Was I ever wrong! When I finally allowed myself to say yes to letting someone nudge me just a little bit (or a lot-a-bit) out of my comfort zone, I found that I was pretty much afraid of everything. I also found that once I allowed myself to “feel the fear and do it anyway,” I could breathe much more deeply. The world around me was suddenly brighter, and I got a glimpse of what it means to “be in the now.” I craved to feel that feeling again–and again. I can honestly say that I am addicted to that feeling on the other side of fear. How do I know what to do? where to start? You can start by saying Yes! to more of the things you want to say NO to.
- Laugh. Look for reasons to laugh every day, and if you can’t find them, make them! I’ll be the first to admit that this did not come naturally to me, so I created a “100 Days of Laughter” challenge to help me be intentional about it and to hold myself accountable. The only way that I can really describe how these 100 days changed me is to ask you to try it for yourself. It’s like tinker bell came with her wand and sprinkled me with fairy dust. It’s that magic!
Of course, I could go on. There is no end, and that excites me!
There are so many little integral pieces to the puzzle of life, and the pieces don’t put themselves together. We have to do the work if we want to see the masterpiece.
The work is hard sometimes, and it is also SO MUCH FUN!