I find it interesting…
I feel like I’ve learned so well how to love the journey of my life by living in the moment, and yet, I still have times when I find myself a little bit in the fear zone. And I mean actually “in it,” not on the “other side.”
I have a couple of great big goals right now. At times I find myself in and out of belief that I really can achieve them. I find myself wondering, “Can I really do this?” and that puts me into an anxiety state—going into the fear yet not allowing myself to move through to that feeling—that exhilarating feeling—that’s on the other side.
In order to get where I want to go, it’s important that I stay focused on the goal and “assume that wish fulfilled.” However, I have learned that, unless I am able to maintain a high level of belief, not only do I need to assume that big wish fulfilled, I also need to assume every little step—every little wish along the way—fulfilled as well. And I’ve kind of forgotten to do that lately. For whatever reason, I’ve let myself get too busy, let myself get too tired, let myself get so wrapped up in the newness and the bigness of the new goal that it feels really big and really scary and really loud.
I pondered my shaky state of belief as I sat in my messy office—my desk piled high with a plethora of things to do and feeling stuck in the wanting to do them. At the same time, my vision board hung on my wall, alongside my little world map that’s also a big part of my goals. I may have been looking at my goals, but I was feeling the chaos. It was all a perfect representation of my anxiety state. I can find little belief in my dreams when I focus on the mess.
I have the opportunity to talk to a lot people and I often hear them tell me about how they have this really “big wish” and yet they are frustrated with their lives because they are forgetting to look for the little manifestations of their wish being fulfilled. When we wish for something and then focus on how we don’t have it yet, it feels frustrating because want that big goal so badly that we forget to be happy with life right now. Of course, it’s really easy when it’s not me to be able to see what’s going on, and when I’m talking with other people, I am often able to help them see the bigger picture and feel better about their situation.
So, as I cleared the clutter on my desk, I thought to myself, “Hmm…it might be a good idea to take my own advice.”
And now I’ll share that advice with you:
“When I assume every small wish fulfilled—when I assume that I already have the feelingI’m going for with my big goals—I can actually have that feeling every single day.”
Every goal we have is related to a feeling. Think about it,
- If you have a goal to get a nicer, newer home, what is the feeling you associate with that? Perhaps it is a feeling of peace. Maybe you relate it to the ability to relax, to look at something beautiful, to feel uncluttered, un-claustrophobic, un-chaotic.
- If you have the goal to be able to fit into your skinny jeans, maybe it’s just that feeling of being proud of yourself. There is a certain feeling if confidence that goes with being healthy and fit and liking the way you look in the mirror.
- If you look for the reason for all of your goals and dreams, maybe at the core is simply the desire to feel good, to feel happy, to feel amazing, every single day.
So ask yourself:
- “How can I feel confident today, even if I haven’t fit into those jeans yet?”
- “How do I feel peace, even though I don’t yet have that big home?”
- “How can I feel amazing today, no matter what else is going on in my life right now?!”
I believe the “secret” to achieving goals is enjoying the process by assuming the fulfillment of every single step to my wish. There’s no need to wait until after I get my wish to enjoy life. If I spend my time looking at my goal from here and thinking “I’ll be happy then,” it will never happen. I need to learn to be happy now. I need to learn to be confident now. I need to learn to feel peace now. I need to learn to feel joy every step of the way in order to really receive and appreciate the joy and the happiness and the confidence that I assume comes with that really big wish. Otherwise, how will I know how to feel it when I’m there?